First off, I want to promise you one thing—if you continue to hide and repress your shadow self it will only prolong your suffering. Relief does not lie outside of yourself. Distraction, intoxication, keeping yourself busy—these are some of the methods you might employ as an avoidance strategy. And they will only do that much—help you to avoid dealing with them, at least for a little while.
"A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed. It feels an impulsion…this is the place to go now." -Richard Bach
I did a lot of thinking (read: dreaming) both before and after high school. At 18 years old I didn’t want to follow suit and go to college straight away. I sensed something was wrong with this process. I hadn’t enjoyed being in the school system for the previous 12 years of non-stop education. There had to be a bigger break than a few months before another 4 years of schooling! When were we supposed to have time to think without pressure from peers, parents, and teachers?
I don’t know where you are at this stage in your life — I can only speak from my experience and what I had to go through, so I’m guessing that if you’re following this blog, then you are on your own journey, fighting your own battles. And if that's the case, you may need guidance every now and then.
On my path I found I needed a framework to understand the process I was immersed in. Life can seem like we’re in the middle of the ocean without oars sometimes, unsure where we are and where we’re going...
Upon finishing high school I became obsessed with finding my passion — my talents were not so obvious and my interests were quite varied, and still a bit vague. I knew what I didn’t want, but I couldn’t really tell you what I did want.
Life purpose was a concept I got ahold of in my late teens, and was really my driving force at that time. If I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, then I would venture out into the world and try several things out. If it meant leaving my hometown — traveling, finding adventure and something different in foreign lands — then that’s what I was going to do...



